Our revelations follow an industrial tribunal that ruled Trudie wrongfully sacked chef Jane Martin after she got pregnant. The hearing was told Trudie had a "grandiose ego" and sometimes required Jane to drive 100 miles from Wiltshire to London to cook soup or pasta—even though the city house had two housekeepers.
Trudie last week publicly declared she would appeal the verdict and denied she put on "airs and graces".
Our inside source says Police pop legend Sting is down-to-earth, despite having a £185million fortune and SEVEN homes, including a New York apartment and Malibu beach house.
But he added: "Trudie's a different story. She could be a total tyrant. Sometimes she'd flip.
"The staff learnt very quickly that Trudie is never wrong. And when she goes crazy, shouting and swearing at you, don't expect her ever to say sorry."
The imperious mistress of Lake House even demanded total compliance from the British army!
"One day there was this almighty bang," our source recalled. "And Trudie got straight on the walkie-talkie, swearing and screaming at security, giving them a rollicking over the noise.
"She was cursing and carrying on like a spoilt child who's had her lollipop taken away. The estate isn't too far from one of the military bases near Salisbury and they were firing up some kind of machine.
"Trudie ordered her guards to go over and tell the top brass that they can't do this sort of thing...because it was disturbing her. Security said, ‘We've already contacted them,' but she wasn't going to be crossed and yelled ‘I don't f***ing care!'
"You really must think you're Queen if you reckon you can order the country's troops to retreat. She can be a nightmare."
Mum-of-four Trudie now has around 40 staff between the family's London and Manhattan properties alone, including four personal assistants, butlers, housekeepers, chefs, nannies and gardeners.
But our former insider warns how the boss could force workers to toil up to 17 hours a day, exploding in rage for no reason while commanding regal attention.
He said she was particularly fussy about laying tables. "The tablecloths were ironed, everything was ironed, so there were no creases. If they were eating outside, you would take an extension lead and iron it outside. Everything had to line up perfectly."
And even if she returned home in the middle of the night Trudie insisted staff were on standby to meet her at the door, holding an umbrella in case it was raining.
In public, Trudie is an environmental campaigner who has raised millions for the Rainforest Foundation. But that hasn't stopped her privately pursuing an increasingly extravagant lifestyle since marrying Sting in 1992.
If milady is thirsty for a fruit juice it must be prepared there and then, with a specially imported German pulping machine costing thousands, revealed our insider. It must NOT be made in advance for fear of losing nutrients.
And Trudie's shopping sprees are legend. Even she boasts: "I shop for Europe!"
Our source said: "Every once in a while staff would be told to give loads of clothes to charity— but they still had the shop labels on, they'd NEVER been worn. This is high-end stuff...Versace outfits worth thousands.
"And although they already have a home in north London Trudie went halves on an apartment that overlooks St James's Palace so she could have somewhere to get changed right in the heart of town. Before that she rented a suite at the Dorchester!
"She has two stylists she always uses for special occasions, a hairdresser and a make-up artist. But they both live in New York, so she'd pay for them to fly first class to London, put them up in a very expensive hotel, then send them home again first class.
"It's incredibly over the top. Even in Lake House, if she had a yoga teacher coming she'd have them picked up in a chauffeur-driven Mercedes."
The butler insisted it was all part of an attempt to move on from her working-class roots— mum was a school dinner lady and dad was a caretaker.
But sometimes the new image would slip. "Trudie's family is from Birmingham and when they came to visit, all of a sudden she'd start swearing and talking in the accent," he said.
"But most of the time she's into looking and sounding refined.
"The butlers used to do silver service, but one day she went to Lady Chichester's house next door where they do ‘butler service', with the butler holding the platter and guests helping themselves. That was it! She came back demanding that SHE should have butler service, too.
"It only lasted two days. There was mess everywhere, food all over the floor. And it took ages to get round to Sting who'd be complaining he was hungry!
"Trudie is really into the class thing. She'd love Sting to be knighted. And I guarantee you'd never get away with calling her anything less than Lady Trudie."