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вторник, 31 января 2017 г.

'Une op sexuelle a sauvé mon mariage »

Impossible d'avoir des relations sexuelles avec son mari pendant près d'un an à cause de la douleur atroce, Helen Dominey a commencé à craindre qu'ils avaient jamais faire l'amour à nouveau ...

Helen Dominey sanglotait dans son oreiller. Elle ne l'avait jamais senti aussi inutile et frustré. Son mari Stan elle se blottit. "Il n'a pas d'importance,» murmura-t, mais Helen secoua la tête avec colère. Ce fut ce que les femmes étaient censés dire aux hommes quand ils ne pouvaient pas faire l'amour - il n'a pas été conçu pour être l'inverse. Elle ne savait pas ce qui se passait pour lui - tout ce qu'elle savait était qu'elle ne pouvait pas avoir des relations sexuelles.
Helen, 32 et Stan, 35 ans, avaient pas fait l'amour depuis presque un an. Depuis la naissance de leur bébé, le sexe était devenu impossible. Dit simplement, il faisait trop mal. "Stan m'a aimé et le sexe était pas notre relation était basée sur, mais il était très important," dit-elle. «Je suis terrifiée à l'idée que nous ne serions jamais en mesure d'avoir de relations sexuelles."
La chimie entre Helen et Stan était intense dès le moment où ils se sont rencontrés dans un bar en vacances en Grèce en 1998.
«Dès que je regardais bavarder avec Stan, je savais qu'il était la seule pour moi», dit Helen. "Notre amour de vacances a continué quand nous sommes rentrés. Nous avons vu les uns des autres autant que possible et, comme la plupart des couples, le sexe était une partie importante de notre relation."
Le couple, de Bedford, marié en 2004 et a immédiatement commencé à essayer d'avoir un bébé. Dans les six mois Helen était enceinte et le couple ne pouvait pas attendre d'être parents. Après une grossesse, le travail de Helen a été compliquée et le bébé Stanley a finalement été livré en utilisant une pince, ce qui entraîne de graves souffrances Helen larmes internes.
«Je me sentais assez horrible au début - tout gonflé et meurtri - mais la douleur disparut assez rapidement», dit Helen.
Retour à la maison avec son nouveau bébé, Helen se jeta dans être une maman. Après ses six semaines check postnatal semblait montrer qu'elle était apte, Helen se sentait prêt à faire l'amour à nouveau.
«J'aimé être une maman, mais voulait se sentir comme une femme à nouveau. Stan et moi avions toujours eu une vie sexuelle active et ce fut le plus long temps, nous étions partis sans puisque nous avions rencontré," dit-elle.
Heureux encore: Helen et Stan
Le couple a essayé de relancer leur relation physique, mais peu importe comment tendre Stan était, Helen a été laissé dans une douleur atroce. «Au début, je n'étais pas trop inquiet. Nous avons même eu un rire à ce sujet», se souvient Helen. «Je pensais que je voulais simplement prendre un peu plus de temps pour revenir à la normale."
Mais semaines passé et à chaque fois ils ont essayé d'être intime, Helen a dû arrêter. Elle était trop mal. "Stan était très agréable, caressant ma joue et me dire qu'il n'a pas d'importance», dit Helen tranquillement. "Mais je savais qu'il a fait."
Helen ne voulait pas rendre visite à son médecin généraliste. «Je suis gêné et espéré que ce serait tout simplement aller mieux sur lui-même," dit-elle.
Desperate pour se rassurer, elle a mentionné à certains de ses amis qui avaient eu des bébés, dans l'espoir qu'ils avaient vécu la même chose. «Je voulais tellement qu'ils disent qu'ils ont compris, mais on m'a dit que leur vie sexuelle étaient revenus à la normale," dit-elle.
Après trois mois, Helen a commencé à faire des excuses pour éviter le sexe. "Chaque nuit, nous avions soit aller dormir dans le silence maladroit ou je finirais dans des flots de larmes», admet-elle.
Bientôt son mariage parfait a commencé à s'effriter. «Nous avons commencé l'aviron sur les choses stupides», dit-elle. "J'ai essayé de prétendre qu'il ne se passait pas, mais je savais que nous étions pas aussi proche que nous l'habitude d'être. Une nuit Stan a plaisanté qu'il aurait à commencer à chercher ailleurs si on n'a pas eu le sexe bientôt. Je il savait était pas grave, mais ça fait mal. Je ne me sentais pas plus une vraie femme. "
Au bout de 10 mois, et son mariage au bord, Helen a finalement demandé à son GP de l'aide. «Ce ne fut pas seulement notre vie sexuelle en jeu plus, il était notre famille aussi», explique t-elle. «Nous avions toujours parlé d'avoir deux enfants et je savais que ne pourrait jamais arriver si je suis resté de cette façon. Mais j'étais médecins terrifiés disaient qu'il n'y avait rien qu'ils pouvaient faire pour aider."
Le GP de Helen l'a renvoyée à un spécialiste de l'hôpital, qui a expliqué que ses larmes vaginales avaient été mal cousu, lui laissant des cicatrices interne excessive. Ce fut ce qui faisait le sexe si douloureux. Les bonnes nouvelles était un op simple serait résoudre le problème. "Je ne pleurais pas, je me suis senti une vague de soulagement de savoir quelque chose qui pourrait être fait," dit-elle.
Helen a subi une intervention chirurgicale appelée épisiotomie révisée. Pendant l'opération, son chirurgien coupe le surplus des cicatrices. "Après l'op on m'a dit d'attendre deux semaines avant nous avons essayé d'avoir de relations sexuelles», dit Helen.
Un peu plus de quinze jours plus tard, le couple a organisé un love-in, et le bébé Stanley est allé à rester avec les parents de Helen. "Nous nous sommes sentis comme des adolescents à nouveau," se souvient Helen. «Je suis excité, mais terrifié aussi. Que faire si l'op avait pas travaillé?"
Heureusement, la nuit a été un succès. «Être capable de faire l'amour signifiait Stan et je me suis senti connecté», dit Helen. "Je ne peux pas commencer à décrire le bonheur que je ressentais."
Helen et Stan avec fils Stanley et James

Le couple a réussi à raviver leurs sentiments, et leur relation a grandi à nouveau forte. Douze mois plus tard, Helen est devenue enceinte. "Je ne pouvais pas supporter l'idée d'un second accouchement vaginal comme je l'avais déchiré si mal la première fois, mon médecin a suggéré une césarienne," dit-elle.
Leur deuxième fils James est né par césarienne il y a un an et le mariage de Helen et Stan est meilleur que jamais. «Il ne fait aucun doute que nous avons vécu nous a fait apprécier les uns les autres plus», dit Helen.
Stan Dominey, 35 ans, chef de projet pour une firme d'ingénierie, dit:«Ne pas être capable de faire l' amour à ma femme a été atroce que je finirais aller courir autour du bloc pour se débarrasser de ma frustration Il était horrible.! pour Helen aussi, mais je me suis senti rejeté et a commencé à se demander si elle était juste des excuses. «Notre vie sexuelle est aussi bonne, sinon meilleure, que jamais. Je reçois toujours à la maison, prendre un coup d' oeil à Helen et veux qu'elle ".

Emilia Fox ‘Losing my baby made me scared I’d never be a mum’

After a heartbreaking miscarriage and then the breakdown of her marriage, Emilia Fox hit rock bottom. Here, she talks about her new love and surprise pregnancy

If anyone has a right to be a bit of a diva, it's Emilia Fox. Born into one of Britain's most powerful acting dynasties, she won her first acting role playing Colin Firth's little sister in the TV adaptation of Pride And Prejudice at the age of 18, and she's never looked back.
But not for her the stroppy tantrums of some stars. Instead, she has slipped in and out of a series of gowns and killer heels on our Fabulous shoot in the blistering heat without a murmur of complaint or the hint of a demand. And all this while five months pregnant.
In fact, she looks quite stunned when she's offered a cup of tea and a sit down.
"Don't worry, I don't think we're done yet. I'll wait until everyone is happy," she says.
Then she confides: "I think when you come from a family of actors you get the idea pretty quickly that it's all about getting the job done and doing it as well as you can - or else."

In person Emilia, 35, is nothing like the aloof, remote forensic pathologist, Dr Nikki Alexander, she has played in BBC1's crime drama Silent Witness since 2004.
Her cut-glass accent may be a constant reminder that she is a member of the Fox acting dynasty (her father is The Day Of The Jackal star Edward Fox, her uncle the actor James Fox, and her cousin Laurence Fox, star of Lewis and husband of Billie Piper) but Emilia is very much a girl's girl. She is smiley, chatty and bursting with pride about her pregnancy with her boyfriend, charity campaigner Jeremy Gilley, 41.
"I love being pregnant. I've been horribly sick but now that's all calmed down and I feel amazing. I've got a cleavage for the first time in my life and I absolutely love it! I feel like this is such a special time. I know thousands of people get pregnant every day, but to me it's amazing because I thought it may never happen again after the last time."
The last time is something Emilia still finds hard to talk about. Three and a half years ago, she suffered a miscarriage while married to Jared Harris, 48, star of US drama Mad Men. "I was 10 weeks pregnant. I'd told everyone and that was one of the worst things - having to say it wasn't going to happen any more," she says quietly.
"At the time I felt I couldn't and shouldn't make a fuss. So many pregnancies end in miscarriage, and it wasn't as if I was ill. I got on with working and Jared was away filming. Acting was the one thing I knew how to do best and it helped because I just carried on as normal, blocking everything out."
I love being pregnant - I feel amazing
She pauses: "But then a year later it just hit me. I don't know whether it was to do with the anniversary, but I just felt this incredible emotional loss and confusion."
A friend suggested Emilia see a therapist and her sessions made her realise how much she'd been bottling up inside and how parts of her life "weren't working".
Specifically her marriage to Jared, who she'd fallen in love with in 2003 when they starred alongside each other in a West End production of Les Liaisons Dangereuses. He proposed after filling her west London home with her favourite wild flowers. When they married two years later in Dorset it all seemed so perfect. The son of the legendary actor Richard Harris, their union was the joining together of two dynasties and Emilia was radiantly happy. It's clearly still difficult for her to put into words what actually went wrong between them.


"I loved being married to Jared. We had the most incredible relationship and our marriage was very happy. It was always unbelievably romantic - we spent so much time apart working that when we were together it was always flowers, amazing holidays and that sort of thing. Jared was the man who just swept me off my feet and everything was so heightened and amazing when I was with him."

Emilia with her ex-husband Jared
Jared was busy carving out a career in Los Angeles, and Emilia had to split her time between America and England to be with him. She says it was only when she suffered the miscarriage that she realised she didn't want a long-distance marriage any more.
"To have a family, to really be with someone, well sometimes it just has to be normal. That seems such a strange thing to want, but it was what I needed and still need.
"It was hard for both of us to accept what we had wasn't working for me. "All my life I'd believed that whatever happened you just had to go with the flow, but I got to this point where I was suddenly in my early 30s trying to work out exactly what I did want, what was right for me. It's only when you lose a child you realise how much you want that, how you see your future."
It also brought home to Emilia how idyllic her life had been up until that point. She describes her childhood in rural Dorset as "happy", her parents as "incredible" and her relationships as "wonderful".
All of which left her less equipped to deal with it when her life went into meltdown.

Starring as Nikki in Silent Witness
She says: "Within a year I had a miscarriage and my marriage, a marriage I treasured, was ending. For the first time in my life I was dealing with massive things going horribly wrong. The therapy helped me to get through it - it's still something that's part of my life - it was a tough time."
While she has been through the mill in her personal life, her career has gone from strength to strength.
She was at Oxford studying English literature when she landed her first role as Georgiana Darcy in Pride And Prejudice.
She has gone on to appear in Oscar-nominated movies such as The Pianist, as well as regular lead roles on British TV in everything from Channel 4's The Queen and David Copperfield to Coupling and Randall & Hopkirk (Deceased).
She laughs off the idea she was ever a rebel despite briefly dating eccentric Randall & Hopkirk co-star Vic Reeves ("He's so lovely, but we were never engaged") and posing for men's magazines. "People have this idea I was born in a chiffon dress. I'm not that sort of girl. My parents were never bothered by me appearing in men's magazines, although they never saw them.
Therapy helped me get through
"I did get in trouble when I talked about stripping and lap dancing for my role in the movie Cashback. I actually found it incredibly liberating and it made me far more assured about my own body, but some people thought I was glorifying the sex trade. I still believe that trying out lap dancing for yourself makes a woman much more aware of her own sexuality."
Emilia is equally frank when discussing her relationship with her new partner, Jeremy. During the last year of her marriage she had to deal with rumours of an affair with handsome young British actor, O.T. Fagbenle, 30, her co-star in the TV drama Consuming Passions. "That was awful. There was nothing going on but I was so worried. Then I realised that no one important cared because they all knew the truth."
She was, however, friends with Jeremy, a former actor, before she split with Jared: "I've known him for years in his capacity as a campaigner for Peace One Day, which lobbies for one day of global truce.
"I was fascinated by what he was doing and always thought he was incredibly inspirational. We started off as friends and kept in touch. We never went on formal dates - we just realised we got on very well."

On the red carpet with partner Jeremy
Her new relationship has benefited from the lessons she took away from her marriage.
"I'm much more aware of sharing my feelings, being more open and we've travelled together when he's been working, and he's been there in the evenings when I've been doing Silent Witness. It's a very different relationship, very lovely."
But her pregnancy was not planned. She laughs: "It was a delightful surprise. I was so happy. Jeremy was so happy. He's going to be an amazing dad - he loves kids. We have lots of babies in the family.
"Obviously my cousin Laurence and Billie have Winston who is gorgeous. I haven't spoken to Billie since I announced that I was pregnant but I know she'll be thrilled. She's such a lovely girl and a lovely mum."
Her ex-husband was one of the first people she told. "Jared was very happy for me because he knows how much it means to me.
"This time I waited till the last moment when I knew everything was going to be OK before I told people. I was worried at first that something would go wrong. But I've been fine and healthy and all my cravings have been for good foods like oatcakes.
"Everyone at Silent Witness was incredible. We filmed the whole series before anything really showed and I was constantly being told to rest but I didn't need to. I've just felt happy."
Ask her if having a baby means another wedding and she bursts out laughing: "You know we don't even live together. I think our first step has to be that. I think because we started out as friends and it was quite some time before anything happened that we just didn't do the moving in together thing."
They are planning to move in soon though. But Emilia has one big concern.
"I'm slightly worried how he's going to find living with me. I'm messy and he's neat. But he knows me inside out. We had a gentle, long period of getting to know each other and then a very quick pregnancy. He's been through all the emotions of this pregnancy so he's seen all sides of me. We've cried, laughed and just been with each other."
She pauses and looks more serious:
"I would like to get married again because I do really believe in marriage. It's something I really value. I want this baby, I want more babies. Of all the things I've had in life, what I want most is my own happy little family."
You can't help hoping Emilia gets what she wants.
  • Emilia Fox will appear in Silent Witness and Merlin later this year.

Emilia says her pregnancy was a "delightful surprise"
So Emilia, have you ever...
Blamed something bad on someone else?
I take the blame for everything I've done.
Been arrested?
Yes, I was stopped at the airport after an acting job. I looked strange with dyed black hair because of the character I'd been playing. I was taken into a cell for hours, and I felt terrified. Then my mobile rang and I just screamed: "Help! I've been arrested in Russia." Soon afterwards a beautiful blonde came in, spoke Russian to the guards then said to me: "Ralph Fiennes sent me to get you out of here." It had been him on the phone. I cried with relief!
Gone commando?
Yes, lots of times. I don't have a problem with it.
Told a friend her outfit looked lovely when really it didn't?
I would absolutely never do that - you're no friend if you do.
Forgotten your boyfriend's birthday?
Never ever.

Health: Beware the Diabetes Trap

Drop that candy bar and chew on this instead. Diabetes is one of the most chronic health threats today. This deadly disease is characterized by high levels of glucose in the bloodstream. This condition occurs when the body can no longer process sugar and carbohydrates. Don’t think that we are being paranoid. One study shows that some cases of diabetes have gone ignored. You could have it and not even know you have it!
Prevent yourself from getting diabetes by maintaining a healthy lifestyle. Avoid doing things which can increase your tendencies towards obesity. Be very picky with your food, always considering the quality of what you eat. Stay healthy by regularly visiting your doctor. Follow an exercise routine everyday, i.e. brisk walking or jogging; and if you are overweight, lose the extra pounds because it’s good for prevention and it’s also good as a treatment of complications.
Even if you think yourself far from getting the disease, be very wary of its risks. Statistics have shown that the risk of getting diabetes goes up with old age. Research about the medical history of your family and check if you have any diabetics.
What to do: Schedule a check up and consultation with your physician and get tested. This illness can cause heart disease, amputation, blindness and also kidney failure. If you are in danger of diabetes, you will have to seriously treat it. Strictly control your blood sugar, watch your blood pressure and regulate your blood cholesterol levels.

понедельник, 30 января 2017 г.

Fight club for girls!

Gone are the times when a bad day at the office meant diving into a bottle of wine to unwind. A new breed of women don’t get stressed, they get violent

This evening is fight night at the Troxy, a cavernous old cinema nestled in the heart of London's East End. The 1,000-strong crowd is already hyped up when, suddenly, the deep bass lines of Move Bitch by American rapper Ludacris pound through the sound system. The hard-hitting song title gives some clue as to what the crowd can expect.

The girls are pulling no punches
Tonight's fight is different for two reasons. Firstly, it's a white-collar affair. Competitors are all mid-management professionals working in office and city jobs. Secondly, women are taking to the ring for the first time in the event's history.
Like the premise behind Fight Club, the cult movie with Brad Pitt and Ed Norton, businessmen in London have been competing in these events for years. And, as women will be boxing for the first time in the 2012 London Olympics, they've been allowed to take part here, too.
The only thing that differentiates them from the boys is the chest protectors they wear underneath their bras.
First up tonight are Sabina Begum and Tiffany Simons. They make their way through the baying crowd towards the boxing ring, illuminated by strobe lights.
By day, both women power dress for their office jobs. They love all things girlie - shopping, going to the cinema, choosing make-up. And they've got wardrobes full of hot frocks and high heels.
But tonight, they're wearing red and blue silk shorts and vest tops, with padded head wear and mouth guards to protect themselves. It means they're free to focus on their game and throwing that killer left hook.
A bell rings to start the fight and the spectators fall silent as the women begin sparring. Then as their padded gloves power into each other's bodies, the crowd erupts.
"You've got to have a lot of balls to get into that ring," says Dan Walker, 28, a banker who's watching the action. "I admire any woman who can do it."
It's great prep for sealing a deal!
Boxing is high risk. But these women will argue that the potential for injury is there in every sport - any guy is just as likely to break his leg playing football as these women are getting physical in the ring.
After three rounds lasting one and a half minutes each, the fight is over. But surprisingly, there's no winner and no prizes at the end. Tonight's fight is purely to raise money for a local gym's boxing group. Why then are these women so drawn to the ring?
"Boxing's changed my life," says Tiffany, 33. "I needed a way of coping with work stress and this gives me the buzz I need."
Sabina, 25, agrees. "Training gives me a high and landing punches makes me feel good."
Sports psychologist Professor Andy Lane, from the University of Wolverhampton, isn't surprised female boxing is becoming more popular. "Boxing involves a great deal of emotional control, confidence and mental toughness," he says. "These are also key attributes for women in high-powered jobs. They're used to working in male-dominated environments and going into the ring in a traditionally male-dominated sport is another way of proving they can take on the boys."
And it's not just their fitness levels that improve - job prospects could, too. "Boxing can help women increase their confidence for confrontations at work, as they're less likely to feel intimidated," says Andy.
"You need to be single-minded to box, and the sport's ultimately about being the last one standing. In that sense, the training and competition are great preparation for sealing a deal in the boardroom."
Well, we guess it beats chanting along to a motivational CD...

"Boxing's the best form of stress relief"



Tiffany leaves her heels at home on fight night
Tiffany Simons, 33, from Essex is a distribution and logistics team leader for a private bank in London. She says:
"Six months ago, I'd never have dreamed I'd be taking part in a boxing match. You'd be more likely to find me in a bar with the lads from work, trying to forget what a stressful day we'd all had.
Now I strap up my hands, slip on my gloves and pound my frustrations away in the ring. It's so tiring, I don't have a chance to think about work - all I can focus on is not getting my nose broken.
I started boxing after seeing an advert in the paper from a local gym offering training for women. At first, I wasn't sure if it was for me. I imagined it was a man's sport and that women would be laughed at. But I needed a way to cope with the stress of office life. I'm in charge of a team of 11 men and I have to make sure everything runs like clockwork. When things go wrong it can be incredibly stressful. I'd kick-boxed before and had loved the rush of adrenaline it gave me, so I decided to see if boxing could give me the same buzz and stress relief.

Tiffany gets into 'the zone'
I didn't want to be the only woman there, so I phoned the gym first, and when the organiser said I wouldn't be on my own I felt a bit better.
I turned up to the first lesson in my smart work clothes, expecting just to watch at first. The gym was gritty, a really basic place, but I liked the fact there were no airs and graces, and after a few minutes, I decided to get changed into my gym kit and jump straight in. Although it was mainly men training, it was comforting to see a few other women there as well.
The first couple of weeks were about improving my levels of fitness, shadow boxing, hitting the punch bag, learning what to do. Now, I train three times a week for two hours at a time.
I've lost 7lb but have put on muscle and my arms look much more toned. I've cut down on my drinking, and I've stopped going out to the pub with friends on Friday nights, as I just can't cope with a Saturday morning training session if I have a hangover. It's too painful!
I'm not afraid to get hurt in the ring, though. If I'm honest, I was more worried about looking silly on fight night in front of my friends and family than breaking any bones.
I've taken a few hits in the face during training, so I know now what to expect. Luckily my head gear protected me. I don't have a boyfriend sitting at home worrying about me, but my family are incredibly supportive. They know how headstrong I am, so they'd never try to stop me.
I'm not afraid to get hurt in the ring
When I first told the men at work about my new hobby, there were quite a few jokes about me getting knocked out. Some of them even said it wasn't for women! That only riled me even more to prove to them that I can be as tough as a guy.
Before my fight against Sabina, I had six practice bouts with other women in training and they got quite vicious. It was a shock when one amateur female boxer whacked me on the nose. But she gave some great tips at the end of the fight - telling me not to drop my left hand, which helped. She also said: 'The first thing I'd do in a real fight is break your nose and while you're concentrating on the pain, I'd hit your body.'
It was a real shock, but feeling the pain made me want to win even more. I've fought one guy so far and that was brilliant because it meant I could punch even harder.
I gave a girl a nosebleed the other day. I asked her if she was OK, but you can't worry about it too much otherwise you wouldn't go back in the ring. You have to put your emotions aside - you're there to win, after all.
Boxing has changed my life. Instead of going for an after-work pint to combat my stress, I bash it out in the ring. I wanted to prove I was 'man enough' to go ahead with the fight and now I have, nothing's going to stop me."

"Landing a punch feels great"



Sabina knows no pain, no gain!
Sabina Begum, 25, from London is a corporate banker. She says:
"My parents will go mad when they find out I've been boxing. I told my two brothers when I started, but swore them to secrecy as I didn't want Mum and Dad stopping me. I love it too much!
My two-hour training sessions twice a week leave me on an incredible high and de-stressed from my high-pressure career in banking.
Although I was a member of a gym, I hadn't done any sports for years. So when one of the guys in my office suggested I tried boxing, I don't know why I said yes.

I was terrified the first time I stepped into the boxing club. My first training session left me in bits. It was the skipping that got me. I'd never done it before and couldn't coordinate myself for weeks - I dreaded that more than getting in the ring!
The first time I fought someone, I was scared. I held back a bit, bobbing around at the edge, trying not to get involved. But once I'd been punched a couple of times, something inside me snapped, I wanted to hit back. I landed a few hits on my opponent and felt a rush. I was hooked.
The worst injury I've had is a hard punch to the nose. I didn't feel it at the time, but the next day I was in agony and had to put ice on it. My boyfriend was very upset. But he's supportive and even comes to watch me fight.
My new hobby has caused quite a stir at work. The girls think it's great, but some of the guys said I shouldn't be doing it. My manager told me he didn't approve, saying it wasn't a sport for women. But I don't care. I fully intend to keep fighting.
Competing for the first time against Tiffany was nerve-wracking. But after I threw the first punch I forgot where I was and just got stuck in. It was the first time I'd felt serious pain, as Tiffany really went for it, but I gave as good as I got. I came out of the ring on such a massive high. I can't wait for my next match to feel that rush again."

"My husband hates me fighting"



Clare gets a thrill in the ring
Clare Sheikh, 47, from London, is group director of strategy and marketing for an insurance company. She couldn't take part in the white-collar match because of an injury. She says:
"I feel like I lead a double life. In the morning I go to work in a designer Diane von Furstenberg dress. I slip on my Louboutins and stride into the boardroom to head up a conference. A few hours later, I change into my scruffy shorts and washed-out T-shirt and jog to London's East End to punch the hell out of another woman in a boxing ring.
I've been white-collar boxing for almost four months - much to the horror of my husband Ayyaz and 15-year-old daughter, Jessica. They're both terrified of me being injured in a fight. I'm not afraid though. I've always been into physically demanding sports. I play squash and polo, so when one of my colleagues dared me to take part in a boxing match, I couldn't refuse.
The first thing I noticed as I walked into the gym was the smell of sweat as half a dozen muscular guys thrashed it out. There's nothing fancy about boxing.
I was so nervous, not because I was afraid of getting hurt, but because I knew I wouldn't be fit enough. I was thrown in at the deep end: a half-hour run, followed by 45 minutes of circuit training, then shadow boxing and a sparring session with one of the other girls. I held back at first because it felt weird hitting another woman, but pretty soon I was getting a thrill from landing a punch.
After the first session, I was so tired I fell asleep on the train home and missed my stop! For the next three days, I could barely move, my body ached so much.
But after doing two weekly two-hour sessions plus squash and running on four other nights, I was soon in the best shape I'd been in for years.
The sparring I've done in training can get vicious. Last week, one of the girls smacked me so hard I got a nosebleed. I came into work with a massive bruise the next day, but my colleagues didn't flinch - I've competed in polo matches for years and I'm always getting injured. That's why I had to pull out of the big fight night - I broke my collarbone falling off a horse.
What I love about boxing is that everyone's the same when they step in the ring. I don't have a clue what anyone else does for a job, I just know that we are all here for the same reason. And not only does it keep you fit, it does wonders for your confidence. Being able to hold your own in the ring makes you more assertive. I've sat in business meetings where someone has annoyed me and thought: 'If we were in a ring I'd polish you off.' But I just flash them a smile instead and keep my thoughts to myself!"

Workplace Watch: Is ‘Boreout’ Killing You?

Browsing over my reading backlog, I stumbled upon this great feature on what’s said to be the “new office disease” - boreout. Forget burnout, Times Online’s Roger Boyes says as boreout has replaced burnout as the workplace virus.
Symptoms are quite similar to burnout. You feel irritable, drained and staring blankly into space. The main difference? The reason why. While burnout victims blame being overworked and underpaid, the opposite reasons are found with boreout victims. Many workers today feel that they are underutilized and under-appreciated.
Boreout works like this: a boss refuses to delegate work, frustrated underlings ask for more to do but are trusted only with mind-numbing tasks. After a while they stop asking and enjoy the free time at their desk, stretching out the low-intensity tasks with a series of strategems.
But mimicking work day after day erodes self-esteem. Result: the boss hurtles towards burnout while at least some of his staff edge towards boreout. The symptoms are almost identical.
So what does this mean? We can definitely infer that workplaces today are volatile presenting new challenges for management and human resources. And this creates new dimensions in management. That means that every workload to every employee should be carefully assigned making sure that both match.

воскресенье, 29 января 2017 г.

4 women, 4 weeks, 1 big fat challenge

They love a glass of wine and a chocolate bar like the rest of us, so could these real women drop a dress size in just a month?

The points-and-power-plate plan




Aisling McIntyre, 35, is a hairdresser from Streatham, London. She followed the Weightwatchers Discover Plan (Weightwatchers.com; £40.90 for first month, £10.95 after) and had 12 one-hour Power Plate sessions at a Virgin Active gym (Virgin active.com; membership from £39.95 per month).
Aisling says: "During the week, my diet's fairly saintly, but at weekends, I indulge in creamy curries and a roast, washed down with lager. Four years ago, I was a size 10, but thanks to weekend binges, I'm now a 14. I'm unhappy with my shape, especially my wobbly tummy and thighs, and want to lose weight. I've heard celebs such as Kylie Minogue and Gemma Arterton use a Power Plate. You stand on a vibrating platform and it tones you up - how hard can that be?"
DIET BEFORE




Breakfast: Muesli with semi-skimmed milk
Lunch: Chicken, avocado and mayo sandwich, crisps and biscuits
Dinner: Chicken korma with naan bread, 2 pints of lager
Exercise: 45-minute power walk three times a week
DIET AFTER




Breakfast: Special K with skimmed milk
Lunch: Ryvita with cottage cheese
Dinner: Vegetable curry
Exercise: Power Plate and running
WEEK ONE:




"I was so wrong about the Power Plate. I could barely walk after my first session of stretches and lunges! Compared to that, the diet's easy. The Weightwatchers website helped me work out I was allowed 21 'Points' worth of food every day. I used the online tracker to record what I'd eaten, then the calculator to work out how many Points were in each meal."
Weight lost: 2lb
WEEK TWO:




"I fell off the wagon at Easter. It wasn't chocolate that did it, but booze. I had six gin and diet tonics, which are one point each. At least I avoided lager - each pint is three points! The Power Plate is getting easier, and I'm feeling more toned already."
Weight lost: 2lb
WEEK THREE:




"I tried on a size-12 dress that's been in my wardrobe for two years - and it fits! All I wanted for dinner was a curry, but I resisted - finding out I'd lost more weight stopped me ordering a takeaway. My thighs and bum feel rock hard since I've been on the Power Plate."
Weight lost: 3lb
WEEK FOUR:




"I can't believe how much weight I've lost! My friends are so impressed. My boyfriend, Andre, loves my body, too. My Power Plate sessions have got me hooked on exercise so I've taken up running, and I'm also going to stick to the diet."
Weight lost: 3lb
TOTAL WEIGHT LOST: 10lb





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The direct-to-your door diet
Becky McLaren, 36, is an operations manager from Reading, Berkshire, where she lives with her husband, Angus, and daughter Megan, five. She followed the BeautifulBreak Detoxini, where three balanced meals totalling 1,200 calories are delivered to your door (Beautifulbreak.com; from £18.50 per day).
Becky says: "Last year, I lost a lot of weight before my holiday. I was a size 10 and felt confident in a bikini. Since then, I've piled on the pounds. I hate Angus seeing me in my underwear."
DIET BEFORE




Breakfast: Nothing
Lunch: Cheese and ham sandwich, cola
Dinner: Large bowl of pasta and stir-in sauce, large glass of wine
Exercise: Toning class once a week
DIET AFTER




Breakfast: Porridge with soya milk
Lunch: Vegetable curry with brown rice
Dinner: Carrot and orange soup
Exercise after: Toning class once a week and plans to go to the gym twice a week
WEEK ONE:




"The diet contains no meat, dairy foods or fish and I'm not allowed fizzy drinks, alcohol or caffeine. I've been delivered a box containing labelled parcels and a menu guide, and I have to put together each day's meals. So far, my favourites include a spicy hotpot and a veggie Bolognese. The recipes are inventive and the portions filling. It's hard watching Angus and Megan tuck into fish and chips, but it'll be worth it. It's having an effect already - I'm more, er, regular than before!"
Weight lost: 7lb
WEEK TWO:




"I'm yearning for beans on toast! But I'm not going to give up. On Saturday, Megan and Angus had chicken Kiev while I was stuck with cabbage soup and I was so jealous. I was a bit naughty on Sunday - I cooked a roast chicken and had a piece with a potato and veg. I'm still losing weight though - 10lb so far!"
Weight lost: 3lb
WEEK THREE:




"To me, semolina looks like frogspawn, so a berry semolina dessert goes straight in the bin. However, there have been a couple of nice stews packed with veg. I've not lost as much weight this week. On Wednesday, Megan tells me: 'You're still a bit fat, Mummy!' Charming."
Weight lost: 1lb
WEEK FOUR:




"The diet's changed my outlook - you can eat well, enjoy filling, tasty food and lose weight. In fact I'm eating more than I used too, but it's all really healthy. I'm going to stick to a low-fat regime from now on and start going to the gym twice a week, too. I'd love to get down to 10st, and this was just the kick-start I needed."
Weight lost: 4lb
TOTAL WEIGHT LOST: 1st 1lb





The personalised plan
Vanessa Griffiths, 38, is a financial advisor from Raynes Park, London, where she lives with her husband, Max. She followed a diet and exercise plan devised by personal trainer and nutritionist Lucy Wyndham-Read of LWR (Lwrfitness.com; £40 per session).
Vanessa says: "Since I got married last year, I've put on half a stone and no matter how much exercise I do or how healthily I eat, I just can't shift it. Marriage has made me a bit too relaxed about my body and I'm eating the same portion sizes as Max. Now I've tipped the scales at over 14st, I'm worried it's getting out of control."
DIET BEFORE




Breakfast: A large bowl of muesli with semi-skimmed milk
Lunch: A prawn mayonnaise sandwich, biscuits
Dinner: A man-sized portion of chilli
Exercise: Two or three exercise classes, such as circuit training or spinning, every week
DIET AFTER




Breakfast: Yoghurt and fruit with granola
Lunch: Wholemeal pitta with tuna and salad, bowl of fruit salad
Dinner: Fish or lean meat with vegetables or green salad
Exercise: Power walking, gym sessions, strength exercises
WEEK ONE:




"I had nightmares about how I would survive on nothing but celery, but I felt better after Lucy spoke to me about my diet and lifestyle. She told me I was still allowed fruit and yoghurt for breakfast, a tuna and salad pitta for lunch, and steak with vegetables for dinner. I also swap my 4pm biscuit fix for oatcakes and avocado or a crunchy granola bar. There's not a celery stick in sight - and it still fits in with my lifestyle. We're doing three one-hour training sessions a week: a 20-minute power walk, then 40 minutes of lunges, squats and stretches. I can't believe I've lost 2lb and 3in from my hips, waist and thighs already."
Weight lost: 2lb
WEEK TWO:




"It was our wedding anniversary this week, so we went away for the night to celebrate. Rest assured, we engaged in plenty of calorie-burning, ahem, exercise! For dinner, I had a small portion of beef and lots of green vegetables, with a glass of white wine. Max could hardly believe it when I refused pudding. I've lost another 2lb and 3in! I bought a Creme Egg at the weekend, but saved it until Tuesday, when I really wanted it. Then I savoured every gorgeous, chocolatey bite. Delicious."
Weight lost: 2lb
WEEK THREE:




"I've been a bit naughty this week. At a hen do, I couldn't resist the sticky toffee pudding and a few large glasses of wine. Nevertheless, by the end of the week, I've lost another 2lb and 3in - amazing!"
Weight lost: 2lb
WEEK FOUR:




"I've lost 8lb and a whopping 10n. Max has promised me a trip to New York if I hit my goal of 13st. This is just the beginning of the new me."
Weight lost: 2lb
TOTAL WEIGHT LOST: 8lb





The celebrity diet
Kirsty McKibbin, 29, is a fashion buyer from Kingston, Surrey, and lives with her fiancé, Simon. She followed the diet and fitness book How To Get A Celeb's Body (Michael Joseph, £14.99) by Coleen Rooney's personal trainer, Elise Lindsay, and Coleen's exercise DVD, Brand New Body Workout (Universal Pictures, £9.99)
Kirsty says: "I'm desperate to lose 1st before my wedding to Simon in August, but my downfall is my love of bread, potatoes, pasta and desserts. And I eat the same size portions as Simon, a 6ft rugby player! At uni, I weighed 7st, but over the past couple of years, the stress of work has led me to comfort eat. Coleen's got a great body - if mine ends up looking like hers, the diet's worth a try."
DIET BEFORE




Breakfast: White toast with butter
Lunch: Cheese and pickle sandwich, crisps, fruit juice
Dinner: Thai chicken curry with rice, two glasses of wine
Exercise: Gym once a week
DIET AFTER




Breakfast: Weetabix and soya milk Lunch: Edamame bean salad, packet of Snack-a-Jacks
Dinner: Quorn chicken fillet with beans and potatoes
Exercise: Coleen's DVD workout twice a week
WEEK ONE:




"For the first week of the plan, I can't eat dairy foods, pasta, meat, fish, crisps or chocolate. I lunch on Ryvitas and houmous and munch on carrot sticks while Simon tucks into stew and mash. On Wednesday, I try doing the exercise DVD and, by the end of it, I'm aching all over and sweaty. Keeping to the diet over Easter is torture - I crack and indulge in a hot cross bun and a Creme Egg and, at dinner, get through of a bottle of white wine and a huge plate of stew."
Weight lost: 4lb
WEEK TWO:




"I'm back to eating healthily. This week, I'm allowed skinless chicken and potatoes. I do the workout twice, but on Thursday I do it after dinner, so don't give it my all, and on Saturday, Simon and I go to a friend's wedding. I eat goats' cheese salad, lamb with potatoes and ratatouille, and finish with chocolate brownie and ice cream. I tell myself I must stick to the diet properly next week!"
Weight lost: none - 1lb gained!
WEEK THREE:




"Every morning I have muesli and soya milk, and dinner is something like salmon fillet with stir-fried vegetables. On Friday, it's a friend's birthday meal. I take the skin off my chicken and don't have any cake. I feel very virtuous!"
Weight lost: 2lb
WEEK FOUR:




I do the workout two nights in a row and am surprised by how much easier I'm finding it. And I now fit into the size-12 jeans I've not worn for two years! I'm going to carry on eating healthily and doing the DVD twice a week to keep up my weight loss."
Weight lost: 2lb


TOTAL WEIGHT LOST: 7lb
 
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